Rooftop
by toolezbionic
Summary: A songfic about what Ellie was thinking in the last twenty minutes or so of the 'Degrassi Goes Hollywood' movie. I know it has already been done and will be done again, but I wanted to give it a try.


**A/N: Okay, this is probably the first story that I have ever thought up and then completed within a five hour time period. Usually, it's a five month time period. So don't laugh if this sucks. Inspiration struck and I surprisingly went for it.**

**The song is 'Rooftop' by Melissa McClelland. You guys might actually recognize it because it was used on Degrassi before at the end of 'Time stands still'. I love this song and I hope you guys do too.**

_**Rooftop**_

_Crouched down on a rooftop_

_In my mother's high-heeled shoes_

_I'm wondering if I will drop_

_Fly away with you_

Ellie Nash, the life ruiner. That's the only way she could describe herself. Here she had only wanted to help people and thought that maybe she had made a positive difference when really she was just there to destroy any hope anyone had.

Her father, the man that had finally returned from years of watching good men die, was falling apart in front of her mother's eyes and Ellie takes a plane to sunny California, dodging any call she would receive from home. She left them there to deal with it on their own and her father would have to sit and wonder why his daughter had yet to see him when he was sick.

As she silently cried to herself on the inside Ellie would try to convince her friends that she was alright and that she didn't have to go back home. All Marco tried to do was help her, try to make it so she didn't screw her family over, but she bit his head off. She made him feel weaker then he was and denied him any access to what she was really feeling.

Then there was Craig, the guy she had fallen for years ago and his new girlfriend. He was finally matured and became the man he'd hoped he'd become. He was clean, sober, and knew where he was heading in his life. For the first time he truly looked happy without his eyes showing the pain of his teenage years. But of course swooped back into his life to remind him of everything that he felt back then just by seeing her, leaving Craig's L.A. life "not so perfect anymore".

She clutched the nearly empty bottle of vodka that she had swiped from the bar at Paige's '18th birthday party' and found herself on the beach that she had so desperately wanted to dive into. Pacing in the sand, Ellie realized that she was nothing less than a plague on everyone. It isn't like she tried to do anyone harm, but it seemed like she couldn't help but be destructive. Her touch could be considered as the kiss of death.

Ellie grabbed at her abdomen with her free hand to try and ease the pain of breathing so heavily as she cried. Everything was slipping from her so fast that she didn't think that she could go on chasing after it all anymore. She was finished thinking that she could be worth anything, finished with _being_ in general. All that she thought that she could do was just float away and be nothing, but a figure in the ocean. Just a spec of life in the forever blue water. Ellie just wanted to let go, so she dropped the bottle she finished off and walked towards the sea of waves hoping it would carry her away.

_I can smell the rain coming_

_But I won't leave until it falls_

_I'm gonna soak in its downpour_

_Til I hear my mother's calls_

Cutting was behind her now, the red blood from her vains was something she had too much control of. Water was all she wanted. She wanted the water that was as salty as the tears burning her throat to wash away the hatred she felt for herself. If only she could have the rain as well, to hide those tears she was so guilty of having, but it wasn't coming. She wanted to wait out here for the rain. She wanted to feel being in between two powers resembling life, one from the heavens and one from earth, and have it swallow her.

Voices echo from behind her, but she just walks away from them. Ellie's name was bellowed out across the waves and they were growing louder and louder, but she wouldn't give in and turn back. Ellie had to keep going until she knew that the ocean had done it's job and fix what was broken inside of her and to take away the curse she was on people. Then, beyond her control, she was stopped and carried out of the waves until she rested firmly on the sand again.

_Cause I am playing God_

_I am raising hell_

_As far as I can tell_

_I am all alone_

_Alone in this world_

_Alone, with you_

"It's going to be okay." She heard Craig say.

"What were you thinking?" Marco was horrified and scared and it was then when ahe started to regret what she was doing and snapped out of her trance.

All Ellie could do was sob "I'm fine, I'm fine."

"You're going to be okay now. Let's get you home." Ellie didn't know what Craig meant by home, but the only thing that made sense was that he meant all the way back in Toronto. He wanted to send her back where her parents were. The thought scared her for she didn't know what she would do to them this time. But then the two men placed their foreheads on hers and suddenly something inside her changed. The way they held her and the fear in Marco's voice made her think that maybe she was needed. If they wanted to hold onto her that badly as the person she was, then maybe the right decision was to just stay put.

"We can't take her to Paige's, it's too loud there."

"Then, we'll take her to my condo." Craig said almost instantly.

Marco, on the other hand, was a little apprehensive about the idea. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I can go there." Was all Ellie said.

"Alright then."

_I carry Spring rain in my hair_

_Weighted sorrow in perfect clouds_

_Bursting in the air_

_Wash away and drown_

Ellie was sleeping on his couch again with all the weight of her troubles sinking out of her and into the ground. She allowed the sleep to take away the lingering alcohol from her mind which inevitably made her come to her senses. Although she still felt horrible from what has been happening to the people around her, she still felt like she could finally let someone get through to her and have them explain what it was they needed from her, why she was needed at all. She couldn't keep making it up all on her own anymore.

Then the conversation outside of her dreams made their way through and woke Ellie up, but she kept her eyes shut and listened to what was going on around her."Hey, I'll stay with Ellie. you better get going."

"See ya." She heard Marco after a short pause and then there was the sound of a door opening and shutting.

Ellie finally let her eyes open again when she felt someone sit on the edge of the couch and she looked up to see Craig leaning over her.

"I'm sorry for acting like such an idiot." Ellie had to apologize for going off the deep end and letting her doubts about herself carry her out to sea.

"Sleep is probably the best thing right now."

Craig didn't look like he would have any of it, but she still felt the need to explain."I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't trying to kill myself."

"I know." The understanding sound of his voice was comforting, like he was there to take care of her. She still didn't feel like she really deserved it, but it made her feel safe inside for once. "Marco told me about your dad."

"I should probably go see him, right?"

"When you're ready."

_I am playing God_

_I am raising hell_

_As far as I can tell_

_I am all alone_

_Alone in this world_

_Alone, with you_

Once he said that Ellie knew that this whole thing was all about her fear of when that was. She had that riding on her back, pulling her down for a while now and the guilt made her feel like she was being selfish which was amplified to a new level with a bit of booze in her. But none of this was about Craig, Marco, or her mother. It was about her dad."It's just, I've always been able to fix things. Like my mom and you. My dad watched soldiers die. He has post dramatic stress disorder and I know I can't fix that."

"No one expects you too." He said very surely. She didn't know how him saying that could be so effective, but she just nodded in agreement and really let herself believe it. Maybe she wasn't the bad guy after all. "After you sleep I'll make you some eggs and if you survive that we'll take the next step." he subtly joked before he stared into her eyes, reassuring her that everything was going to be fine and brushed a piece of hair from her face.

_The roof slips beneath my feet_

_As the branches back away from me_

_The softest grass turns to concrete_

_But I will fly_

_I will fly_

_You will see_

It seemed like they had been standing there forever, delaying their separation as long as they could. Ellie was afraid that the strength he gave her would dissappear as soon as she walked away from him. She now believed that he was alright and that she didn't break him like she had originally thought, but it still took a lot of courage to try and leave him behind. But what she had to do for her father now was becoming so much more real that she knew she had to go and do it on her own.

"I should probably just go. Security can take a while."

"Yeah." It was obvious that he wanted her to stay just as badly, but she was glad to know that he wouldn't keep her from something so important. It kind of reminded her of when she let him go and try to start his music career without her tagging along; and look at how that turned out. He was still happy and they were still able to find each other again.

"Thanks again for all your help. You really came through for me."

"Call it even."

And that was that. Ellie took one last second to lightly brush her hand on the end of his shirt and then lifted her bag up onto her should while she started walking away. Then, after she got about twenty feet away, something hit her like a ton of bricks. Despite everything that was against them ever being together there was still that tiny little voice in her head that her feelings for him _were_ requited after all and there was only one way she knew she could get her answer.

Ellie turned around to look at the direction he was going in, hoping beyond all hope that he would do the same. As soon as she thought that he wasn't going to, he stopped and turned around the very same way she did. There eyes only needed a second to lock and in an instant they started walking towards each other with determination. Once they reached the spot they started at they threw themselves into each other's arms before sharing that most desired kiss.

"We'll always have L.A., right?" She said after they were able to tear themselves apart.

"Someday, maybe." His words might have seemed uncertain, but she saw the look in his eyes that someday will happen for them eventually.

Ellie gave him two more quick kisses and then finally left to go home, knowing that she would see him again soon enough.

_Cause I am playing God_

_I am raising hell_

_As far as I can tell_

_I am all alone_

_Alone in this world_

_Alone_

Marco had surprised Ellie when she saw that he had arrived back in Toronto before her. He wanted to make sure that she got to wherever she was going alright and was relieve to know that she was finally brave enough to go and see her father. But Marco knew that he couldn't go in that room with her. He knew that this was something she had to do alone, so he patiently sat out in the hall as Ellie went in to see her father sitting by the window like he was waiting for her.

"Hi daddy." She said, still holding on to the doorframe and started crying when he turned around to look at her. She was expecting him to look so different. She thought that he would be cold and expressionless, but was overwhelmed to see just how happy he was to finally see her.

"It's okay." He enveloped her into a long awaited hug and let her cry deeply into his shoulder. Everything was going to be okay.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**A/N: Craptastic, I know. But if you do have any thoughts that you could share with me, then that would help a lot! Thanks!**


End file.
